Failure

When I was in first grade, I had my first dramatic failure as an artist. We were making cage-like construction paper jack-o-lanterns and I made the wrong cut. Instead of a 3D pumpkin, I ended up with a pile of paper strips on my desk. I was a very meek kid and I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of criticism from my art teacher. She yelled and bemoaned my stupidity. I shrank in utter embarrassment and hated art class for most of my early education. Luckily, I had supportive art teachers in middle and high school and I found my way back to art making.

Failure is built into the creative process. If one takes risks, it's also possible that one may fail. Sometimes the things which fall apart or refuse to be resolved offer the greatest opportunity to grow and change as an artist. The collapse within the process is much easier for me to handle that the rejection from the outside! Every week I open my mailbox to find a letter declining my work for exhibition. It's a blow to be turned down and it always triggers my painful memory of applying to graduate schools.

I had worked for a few years after undergrad and waited until my late twenties to apply to graduate school. I was totally ready and excited to enter into a rigorous art program. It was my complete focus at the time and I applied to six schools around the country. I was nervous as I waited for the response letters. I had a dream that I walked down a long country road with a mailbox at the end; I opened the box to find I had been rejected from all the schools. It was a disturbing dream which proved to be a prophecy. I didn't get into school that year and it may be one of the most disappointing times in my life! 

For this instruction, I used children's scissors to cut apart failed drawings and a stack of rejection letters for teaching positions, exhibitions, and screenings.